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I've been looking for something different for quite some time. Well, I should say, I've felt different for quite some time. As a young adult, I could never really put my finger on what it was that I was missing. In bed, I desired to be tied up, blindfolded, and rough sex but rarely, very rarely received it. My spouse wasn't into it and I simply pushed those desires away...tried to suppress them. For many years I did.
Sexually unfulfilled and emotionally unhappy, I finally decided to leave my marriage. Since then, I've been trying to explore those long held, deeply rooted desires that I'd push in my subconscious...that I'd suppressed.
I am older than alot of subs due to my late start on this exploration but am told by many that i look 10 years younger than 43. Im 5'4 151lbs with long dark brown hair. My eyes are brown and somewhat almond shaped and attractive, I'm told. I have a pecan brown complexion. I enjoy laughing and it's rare not to see me smiling. I'm spontaneous, and a little bit impulsive, and somewhat fiesty attributable to my Aquarius nature.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
What I seek is a man who arouses my mind. An intelligent man who I am also physically attracted to. A man who I can turn over control to when we're in our "private" world. I want rules and structure and crave to serve, honor, obey. But, this is my first exploration into this area of submission and I need someone who is going to be patient in my learning my role. In short, I want to belong to someone who treasures me as a sub. A Dom who will treasure and hold my gift of submission in the highest regard.
I haven't had any luck with finding a man to train me...finding the right fit...finding the one man for whom I will allow to control me...body and mind. I've been on this journey for over a year now and am beginning to wonder if the stars will align for me or if I should conclude that it's just not " in my cards"...that I'm simply not supposed to explore this. Although its not what I desire to do, i will again, suppress my desires, but I'm so hoping that's not the way this journey ends....
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